Everything's gonna be alright.

We never know what God has in store for us. The last month or so I have had many let downs, many stumbling blocks I refuse to let these obstacles control me, and my relationship with God. God is not too interested in MY comfort; he's interested in my CHARACTER. I know, that my God is a faithful God & will bless his servants, if we just obey him.

About two months ago my Sister, from Florida, called me to tell me about my dad’s 80th birthday party. I disused it with my husband, we decided the youngins & I would make the 12 hour drive, in mid-October, to celebrate with my father and my family. About a month ago a friend of mine posted on Facebook that if all her friends sent her $1 she could get the camera lens she really wanted for her birthday. I stuck a dollar & some stickers in an envelope, said a prayer for her and popped the money in the mail. I told Krystal, my girl, what I had done. I also told her that God would bless us for doing this. Mind you that's not why I did it. I love this friend and I wish I could have bought her the lens myself, but I can't. Stay with me here. Three weeks ago, as I was headed to work, my car started acting weird. I made it to work, thank God. After work, I managed to make it down the mountain and back up my mountain to the garage, praying the whole time. By this time my husband, Les, was on his way home from work. He stopped at the garage, spoke to the mechanic, and brought me home. The next day we found out my car needs over $700.00 worth of work. We all know that means at least $1,000.00. We decided to not fix my car right now. I’d drive the blazer and Les would drive the bus. There, problem temporarily solved, or so I thought. I jumped in the blazer the next day, it would NOT start. Thank God my neighbor let me use his car for a few days. Then, the next day the breaks went on the bus. Yup three cars & not one works. Les was able to fix the bus. He has spent two weekends, so far, trying to fix the blazer. In the mean time we, when I say we I mean my hubby, bought a new truck. No it's not brand new, but it's new to us. He was able to get it with no down payment. That’s a good thing, cause we ain't got no money. (Do ya hear the southern draw there?)

So now I plan on going to Florida and my car breaks. No biggie, I was going to take the blazer anyway. I had faith if I was supposed to celebrate my father’s 80th birthday with him God would make it possible. Then........ Yup the blazer broke down. Ok God, you win, I won't go to Florida. I accepted this. Perhaps God is protecting me, after all I HATE driving. 12 hours is a long time for me to drive. When we travel Les usually does most of the driving. I called my sister to tell her i didn’t think i could make it to the celebration. My sister, Debbie, said maybe it’s Satan messing with you. I didn't think so. My stubbornness then decided to pray "Dear God if I'm supposed to go you will provide me with $200.00 by Friday.” I’d get another job; find money someplace, somehow, if I was supposed to go God would make it happen. Well, last weekend came & went no money, no birthday party for me :-(. Ok God, I listened. Now I'm upset I have no car, my business isn't going very well. I'm looking for another job..... I'm sad I couldn't go to Florida. It will soon be getting cold here, I hate the cold. Yup I'm miserable. Sometimes I just want to have a pity party, and that's ok, after all I am human.

My husband called me on Wednesday, at lunch time, to ask when we could go get the blazer. He had towed it to his friend’s house on Sat to work on it there. (They got the blazer drivable, but he's unsure how safe it is, and how long it will be drivable) His friend's house is an hour and a half away. I told Les I would change my daughter’s doctor appointment & we would go tonight. Now I had to drive the bus (10 miles a gallon) to pick up Krystal from school early. The school is about 20 minutes away. Then I had to drive another 20 minutes in the other direction to the doctor. I was not a happy camper, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. On the way down the mountain, to the doctor's, I was complaining to Krystal. She reminded me that God is an eleventh hour God. Yeah yeah yeah. I didn't want to hear that, but she's right. Don't ya love it when your kids throw your words back at you? I ran into a friend, who I've known for 6 months, at the doctor's office. She asked how I was. I, for some crazy reason decided to dump ALL my troubles on her. I told her we are still having car troubles, blah blah blah. We chatted for a moment, she asked me to stop by and get some tomatoes before they went bad. I told her we would be there shortly. -Judy is this great lady; she has had her problems, like all of us, and overcame them with such Grace, and love. I always feel very upbeat after talking to her. If I had not been going to get the blazer, if I had not changed Krystal's appointment, I would have never ran into my friend. Chatting with her for ten minutes was a nice gift. - While I was at her home, this angle of a lady gave me a huge bunch of fresh cut flowers too. As I was putting the goodies into the back of the bus she stuck something in my pocket, said “it’s a gift from God and we don't have to talk about it.". I said thank you very much, but you don't have to do that. I figured it was a few dollars for gas, or to grab a pizza...... When I got in the bus and looked to see what it was, I couldn't help but to cry. She had placed four $50.00 bills in my pocket. What a blessing. We went to get the blazer. Les drove it home. It survived the trip. On the way home I blasted my Christian music & rocked out. I am incredibly blessed. Now I know this next part sounds crazy, (as if the first part doesn’t) but I was about 2 miles from my house, and a deer ran out in front of me. I haven't even seen a deer in over a year. Up north I saw them every day, down here, not so much. Let me tell you, I love animals. At that moment I KNEW, without a shadow of a doubt, that everything will work out. Last week I prayed for $200.00 to go to Florida. That conversation was between me and God. I told no one else. God did not feel it was time for me to travel. I listened. A week later I was "given the same amount of money I prayed for.” Coincidence????? I think not. We are told to pray about everything, pray without ceasing. God might say yes, he might say no, and he might say wait my child. Today Les will spend his third weekend working on the blazer; I will pray God gives him the knowledge to fix it. I do believe the third times a charm. I didn't like driving the bus because it's very big, and I can't see out the back window very well to back up. I now have no problems going in reverse. Les and I plan on doing some major traveling in the future. I guess God wants me to be comfortable driving something big. Perhaps tomorrow I'll tow around the camper, just for fun. By the way, I have not yet mastered the skill of getting in and out of the bus with a dress on, I'm working on it though. Go out and be a blessing to someone else. Expect nothing in return. I promise, you will be amazed.

Happy Birthday Dad.

Eighty years ago today the world was blessed with an amazing man, Franklin Hommel. I am incredibly fortunate to have the privilege of calling him my DAD.

Dad, There are so many wonderful memories you have given me. One of my earliest memories is when you would take me to Couches’ Corner to buy the newspaper. I couldn't have been more then 3. Do you remember that? You use to put me on your lap, when you mowed the lawn. I use to be your unofficial flashlight holder when you were fixing something & needed more light. I loved Tuesdays as a young girl, you would pick me up from Brownies, and then we would go grocery shopping. I know ya probably don't remember any of that, that's ok, because I do. Even though I'm sure I use to gripe about mowing the lawn, and stacking wood I am so grateful you taught me life skills too. You would get up early every morning and go to work. I don't remember you ever taking a sick day. See dad, I was paying attention. Dad you have taught me so much, except your math skills. How many nights did you patiently help me with my homework? You had so much more faith in me then I ever had in myself. We would go to Albany to the orthodontist when I had braces. I remember you letting me drive home & you falling asleep. Either you had a great trust in my driving abilities, or maybe you were just praying so hard I only thought you were sleeping. Either way, you teaching me how to drive is a memory I will forever have. I learned to be patient and the value of a parent's unconditional love from you. No matter how disappointed I was with myself, and my actions, you never stopped loving me. Dad, I am so blessed, God gave me you, as my father. I'm so sorry I was not able to come down for your 80th birthday party. Three broken cars kinda got in the way. I love you Dad. Happy 80th birthday.

What if I'm told NO????? WHat is I dont ask??

     Very early Sunday morning, when I woke up, I had a dream fresh in my mind. I had dreamt I was at a local Subway restaurant. In my dream I was standing at the counter, not saying a word. No one spoke to me, or acknowledged I was there. More customers came in, ordered their food, got served, and happily left. I continued to be ignored, I felt invisible. This went on for a little bit. I started yelling at the employees behind the counter, then I insisted on speaking to the manager.

     I spent some time thinking about this dream today. Why was I over looked? Why did nobody see me? Why wasn't I getting served? Didn't I deserve service? Why hadn't I spoken up nicely, instead of yelling and screaming? Why was I making a seine?

     I'm thinking this dream goes back to my needs not being met. I don't know how to communicate them. In my dream I was just standing there, saying nothing. Am I ashamed to talk, be recognized? Do I think I don't deserve my needs to be met. Do I think others should know what I need if I don't communicate my needs?

     I'm asking myself a lot of questions. I guess I need to answer them. Why am I overlooked? Why am I ashamed of me? Perhaps I don't want to be noticed. I don't want to attract attention to myself. I want to just blend in with everyone else. If I go unnoticed I won't create any conflict. People won't see my character defects. They won't notice that I am insecure.

      In my dream I didn't speak up, why? If I ask for something, and do not get it, I will be disappointed. So often I was told no when I asked for something. After years of being told no, I've decided it's easier not to ask. Why risk the rejection and disappointment. I, at times, like to think my loved ones should know my needs and wants. I've learned, they are not able to read my mind, thank God. I can't read theirs either.

     My refusal to communicate my needs leads to feelings of anger and resentment. I start screaming, yelling, and make a fool out of myself, all because I wouldn't ask for what I needed. I could avoid so much misery if I just could learn how to communicate.

     Before I ask for something now I understand I may be told no. I think about how that might feel. I think about is this a need I can fill for myself, without help? I decide to ask, or not. If I choose not to ask I can only be angry at myself.

     Do I think too much about my dreams? I don't think so. I believe if God wants me to look at an issue within me, or outside me, he will get me to look at it however he can. My God knows me, better than I know me. He wants me to look at my issues. He wants me happy. I am a work in progress.  The next time I'm in Subway I will be friendly, and politely place my order.