.PNG)
Very early
Sunday morning, when I woke up, I had a dream fresh in my mind. I had dreamt I
was at a local Subway restaurant. In my dream I was standing at the counter,
not saying a word. No one spoke to me, or acknowledged I was there. More
customers came in, ordered their food, got served, and happily left. I
continued to be ignored, I felt invisible. This went on for a little bit. I
started yelling at the employees behind the counter, then I insisted on
speaking to the manager.
I spent some time thinking about this dream today. Why was I over looked? Why did nobody see me? Why wasn't I getting served? Didn't I deserve service? Why hadn't I spoken up nicely, instead of yelling and screaming? Why was I making a seine?
I'm thinking this dream goes back to my needs not being met. I don't know how to communicate them. In my dream I was just standing there, saying nothing. Am I ashamed to talk, be recognized? Do I think I don't deserve my needs to be met. Do I think others should know what I need if I don't communicate my needs?
I'm asking myself a lot of questions. I guess I need to answer them. Why am I overlooked? Why am I ashamed of me? Perhaps I don't want to be noticed. I don't want to attract attention to myself. I want to just blend in with everyone else. If I go unnoticed I won't create any conflict. People won't see my character defects. They won't notice that I am insecure.
In my dream I didn't speak up, why? If I ask for something, and do not get it, I will be disappointed. So often I was told no when I asked for something. After years of being told no, I've decided it's easier not to ask. Why risk the rejection and disappointment. I, at times, like to think my loved ones should know my needs and wants. I've learned, they are not able to read my mind, thank God. I can't read theirs either.
My refusal to communicate my needs leads to feelings of anger and resentment. I start screaming, yelling, and make a fool out of myself, all because I wouldn't ask for what I needed. I could avoid so much misery if I just could learn how to communicate.
Before I ask for something now I understand I may be told no. I think about how that might feel. I think about is this a need I can fill for myself, without help? I decide to ask, or not. If I choose not to ask I can only be angry at myself.
Do I think too much about my dreams? I don't think so. I believe if God wants me to look at an issue within me, or outside me, he will get me to look at it however he can. My God knows me, better than I know me. He wants me to look at my issues. He wants me happy. I am a work in progress. The next time I'm in Subway I will be friendly, and politely place my order.
I spent some time thinking about this dream today. Why was I over looked? Why did nobody see me? Why wasn't I getting served? Didn't I deserve service? Why hadn't I spoken up nicely, instead of yelling and screaming? Why was I making a seine?
I'm thinking this dream goes back to my needs not being met. I don't know how to communicate them. In my dream I was just standing there, saying nothing. Am I ashamed to talk, be recognized? Do I think I don't deserve my needs to be met. Do I think others should know what I need if I don't communicate my needs?
I'm asking myself a lot of questions. I guess I need to answer them. Why am I overlooked? Why am I ashamed of me? Perhaps I don't want to be noticed. I don't want to attract attention to myself. I want to just blend in with everyone else. If I go unnoticed I won't create any conflict. People won't see my character defects. They won't notice that I am insecure.
In my dream I didn't speak up, why? If I ask for something, and do not get it, I will be disappointed. So often I was told no when I asked for something. After years of being told no, I've decided it's easier not to ask. Why risk the rejection and disappointment. I, at times, like to think my loved ones should know my needs and wants. I've learned, they are not able to read my mind, thank God. I can't read theirs either.
My refusal to communicate my needs leads to feelings of anger and resentment. I start screaming, yelling, and make a fool out of myself, all because I wouldn't ask for what I needed. I could avoid so much misery if I just could learn how to communicate.
Before I ask for something now I understand I may be told no. I think about how that might feel. I think about is this a need I can fill for myself, without help? I decide to ask, or not. If I choose not to ask I can only be angry at myself.
Do I think too much about my dreams? I don't think so. I believe if God wants me to look at an issue within me, or outside me, he will get me to look at it however he can. My God knows me, better than I know me. He wants me to look at my issues. He wants me happy. I am a work in progress. The next time I'm in Subway I will be friendly, and politely place my order.
No comments:
Post a Comment