Sticks & stones.

Who ever said sticks and stones will break your bones, but words can never hurt you is a big fat LIER!!!!      Have ya read the book " The Four agreements"?  The first agreement is;  Be Impeccable With Your Word Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.      Easier said then done. I often say stuff I don't mean because I suffer from sarcasm.  I also don't say what I mean because I don't want others to think I'm stupid, or I don't want to hurt someone.  I wonder how many people don't say what they want to because they are afraid they'll sound stupid?  Ok this is not where I had planned on going with this, but here goes;..........       Being the youngest of 4 girls, ya know how girls are, it was hard to get a word in, hard to express myself verbally. I think because of this I am loud & speak fast, no I speak very fast.  I felt like my opinion didn't matter, my thoughts didn't matter. -  I will now say this is just my feelings, it was more then likely not FACT. I've learned my feelings are not fact. -          My sister who is 15 months older then me & i use to argue, a lot, yup sisters do that.  It seemed as though I was always the one getting in trouble for being loud & fighting. Again, I'm loud because I feel I am not heard, I speak fast to say what I have to say before I am interrupted.       With the help Of some very amazing people ( you know who you are) I've learned that what I have to say is important, I can speak & not be interrupted.  I feel heard.  I have practiced speaking slowly, mainly because I hate repeating myself;-)      Now back to" be impeccable with your words" that is a very slow proccess for me. There are times I bite my tounge, because believe it or not,  I think some stuff occasionally that is not very nice.  I now, very often, think long & hard about how I am going to express myself verbally, especially when I need to talk about something that could create conflict.  I try very hard to express how I feel ( it hurts me when....), not "you're an idiot, why did you do that.  I mean what I say, I try not to say it mean.       Gossip, this too I am working on. I check my motives when I talk about someone. Do I want to talk about them to help them, to ask for prayer for them. Or is my talk "can you believe she......" just to gossip.       I try to use my words in the direction of truth & love. When you call you child, husband,..........  Ugly, fat, stupid,........ that hurts, it scars, especially if it is someone who values your opinion, someone who looks up to you. I let things others say control who I was for a very long time. (I'll get into this later I'm sure). Sticks & stones can break my bones, words can scar me for life.  Proverbs 12:18  There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.